A collection of classic dad jokes that never really go out of style. Simple, cheesy, and exactly the kind of humour that somehow gets funnier the more you hear it.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese.
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
Because they don’t have the guts.
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
He couldn’t see himself doing it.
I told my watch I needed a break.
It said, “Take your time.”
I tried to write with a broken pencil.
It was pointless.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
The Baker
I used to work in a bakery, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks.
Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
They might crack up.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday.
I couldn’t find any.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
They make up everything.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of trousers?
In case he got a hole in one.
Why did the maths book look sad?
Because it had too many problems.
Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two tired.