Benching

Benching (verb / Dating Slang)

(Also heard as: Bench, Benched, On the bench)

Definition:

Benching is keeping someone as a back-up option in dating, giving them just enough attention to keep them interested while you pursue other people. They are “on the bench”, like a spare sports player.

Where Benching Comes From:

It comes from sports, where substitutes wait on the bench, and was named as a dating trend around 2017 in lifestyle and relationship media.

How People Actually Use Benching:

Used about someone who keeps you hanging: “she’s benching me while she dates around”. It describes being kept in reserve.

Is Benching Rude?

The behaviour is seen as unkind, though the word is just descriptive.

Examples in the Wild:

• “He texts me just enough but never commits. I think I’m being benched.”Meaning: I am a back-up option.
• “Don’t bench your friends.”Meaning: Do not keep people waiting in reserve.
• “After two weeks of benching, I walked away.”Meaning: I left after being kept on hold.

Similar Slang:

Breadcrumbing, Ghosting, Situationship, Talking Stage

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