Noob

Noob (noun)

(Also heard as: Proper noob, Total noob, Newb, Absolute noob)

Definition: Someone who’s brand new to something and hasn’t got a clue what they’re up to, or anyone who makes a dead basic, rookie mistake they really should know better than to make.

Where It Comes From: Short for “newbie,” which has been knocking around since the 80s. When online PC gaming kicked off, players started typing “noob” in the lobby to quickly take the mick out of anyone playing like they’d never held a controller before. It didn’t take long for it to jump out of headsets and into normal, everyday banter.

How People Actually Use It: Used when someone makes a proper schoolboy error—like putting the milk in before the teabag, turning up to the wrong train platform, or buying petrol when your car takes diesel. It’s the standard word for getting roasted on a games console with your mates, or holding your hands up when you do something daft on your first day in a new job.

Examples in the Wild:

• “Forgot to take the handbrake off before trying to pull away, proper noob.”

  Translation: I made an embarrassing beginner mistake behind the wheel.

• “Don’t put him in goal for five-a-side, he’s an absolute noob.”

  Translation: He doesn’t know what he’s doing and will let in easy goals.

• “Got off at the wrong stop on the tube this morning like a total noob.”

  Translation: I messed up a dead simple commute because I wasn’t paying attention.

Similar Slang: Rookie, Newbie, Green, Clueless, Amateur