Speng

Speng (noun / UK slang)

(Also: Spenghead)

Definition: An idiot or absolute clown. You call someone a speng when they do something dense, clumsy, or brainless.

Pronunciation: /spɛŋ/ (sounds like peng)

Where It Comes From: Came up on London school buses and secondary school playgrounds in the late 1990s and 2000s. It was a handy put-down because teachers couldn’t give you detention for it like a proper swear word. It shared playground space with words like div, wally, and melt.

How People Actually Use It: You drop it on mates when they mess up easy stuff.

It’s what you shout when your mate puts salt in his tea instead of sugar, walks into a glass door, or drops his kebab meat-side down on a Friday night. It also flies around Call of Duty lobbies or five-a-side matches when someone misses an open net from two yards out.

Examples in the Wild:

• “Look at this speng trying to push a pull door.”

  Translation: “Look at this fool failing to open a basic door.”

• “Dave put diesel in a petrol car again, proper spenghead move.”

  Translation: “Dave made a careless mistake with his fuel.”

• “I lost my coat at the pub, feel like a right speng today.”

  Translation: “I made an annoying, stupid error.”

Similar Slang: Div, Muppet, Doughnut, Wally, Melt, Eejit, Pillock