Monkey

Monkey (noun / London & UK slang)

Definition: Exactly five hundred pounds (£500).

Pronunciation: /ˈmʌŋ.ki/ (rhymes with chunky)

Where It Comes From: Old pub lore claims this is Cockney rhyming slang, but that’s a myth. It actually goes back to the days of the British Empire in 19th-century India, where the 500-rupee banknote featured a picture of a monkey. British soldiers took the term back to Blighty, and London dockers, barrow boys, and racecourse bookies made it their own so nosey punters couldn’t track how much cash was trading hands.

How People Actually Use It: Nobody parts with a monkey on a pack of crisps or a round of drinks.

You only hear it when serious notes come out. It’s the bread and butter of second-hand car dealers, building sites, and old-school betting rings. If an electrician looks at your blown fuse board, sucks his teeth, and mutters that sorting the wiring will run you “about a monkey in cash,” you know exactly how much to pull out of the hole in the wall.

Examples in the Wild:

• “Managed to haggle the bloke down at the car auction and drove the van home for a monkey.”

  Translation: “I negotiated well and bought the vehicle for five hundred quid.”

• “Dave put a monkey on a horse with 20-to-1 odds and watched it pull up lame at the first fence.”

  Translation: “He lost a five-hundred-pound bet almost immediately.”

• “I’ll clear the garden rubbish and lay the patio slabs for materials plus a monkey for my time.”

  Translation: “The labour charge for the job will be five hundred pounds.”

Similar Slang: Five hundred quid, Five bags, Ton (£100), Grand (£1,000), Pony (£25), Score (£20), Tenner